UNB Alumni Soccer Game 2011

In 2003, after suffering from years of increasing slowness and decreasing mobility, I decided that my days of playing soccer regularly needed to come to an end after 35 or 36 years of continuous play.  The biggest influence on my decisions was a dodgy left knee, which the doctor said would continue its decline the more I played.  So, I quit knowing that I could still play the odd exhibition game.  Those exhibition games have become few and far between and so I've come to look forward to each year's UNB alumni game.  Somehow, I missed last year's and thus it has been two years since I've kicked a ball in earnest.

In my mind, I haven't lost a step and just need an opportunity to prove it.  I circled September 17th on the calendar.  It was time to come out of retirement again.

I awoke early, with lots of nervous tension, as I needed to walk the dog, run some errands and most importantly, find my kit before the 11 am start.  As I walked in Odell park, I was already beginning to feel the knee twinge in anticipation of the game to come.  I arrived at the field a full 15 minutes before the scheduled start time and soon joined the other 4 players tapping the ball lazily to one another warming up.  Gradually more players joined us and soon nearly all of us were chatting whilst letting the ball do the work.  Some of the most recent graduates were participating in an act that the veteran graduates find loathesome - running.

After some time milling around, a leader was found and Jon Crossland got things organized.  Two teams were picked and thankfully each had subs.  I began the game at right back.  Nobody else seemed to want it and I was soon to find out why.  Somewhere between graduation and returning for this alumni game, the staples upon which many a successful UNB team has been built - Organization, Discipline and, Hard Work have sadly disappeared.  It was like the NHL All-star game played on an Olympic Oval.  It was about 3 minutes in when I faced my first 3 on 1.  It didn't go well.

On the other hand, in possession, I was given plenty of space to pick out forward players and 'ping the ball about' - how times have changed. 

It was fun to see how players have retained their playing characteristics after all the years.  There was Gray Zhuride standing around doing nothing, yet still ending up with 4 or 5 goals.  Tony White's jinking runs forward and then twisting his ankle.  Peter Carpenter's total control of the 5 metre circle of space around him.  Paul Noble penetrating runs forward coming up consistantly just short of the mark. Mike Guidice's box to box midfield play.  Lesley Hache's predatory instincts around the net and opponent's shins, Nina Brokopps ultra-competitiveness, Tammy Mallais' red face.  Thank goodness Mike Connelly wasn't there.

As the game wore on towards the 15th or 20th minute, it became increasingly ragged.  I was determined to take advantage and made several late runs forward and even later runs back.  Finally, I seized the moment.  Having received a return pass from the winger, a space opened up before me.  I surged between two defenders creating a two on one situation.  I could smell the fear coming from the defender as I forced him to make a decision - try to stop this wily veteran, or stay with the striker.  'Ha, wrong decision sucker', now I will slip this ball to the open striker and he will surely score.  I don't know what happened next, but my best guess is that I scuffed the turf during the attempted pass.  Whatever, it left me face down in the rubber pellets with ball dribbling harmlessly forwards.  At least I could derive some solace from the fact that I incapacitated several of the opposition in a fit of laughter.  A clear case of the mind writing cheques, the body can't cash.

Mercifully, the final whistle soon came and we all trudged off for beer to lick our wounds.

In an attempt to evaluate my game and improve for next year, I encourage you to rate my effort using the following semantic differential scale.  Likely, you didn't see the game, but feel free to just imagine how I did.

     7-------------------6--------------------5-------------------4------------------3-----------------2-----------------1
Leading--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Disruptive
Intelligent---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Witless
Lively-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Plodding
Dominating--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Peripheral
Creative---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Stagnant
Perpetual---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Stationary
Effective-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------      ----Chocolate fireguard
Over keen----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Unresponsive

The warm-up reaches its peak.

Was it too much to ask that Fran get a photo of me with the ball?

Who's that pratt in the front row not looking at the camera?